Gay porno<\/a> I worried that I\u2019d never be able to replicate them in real life.<\/p>\nAs I got older and started experiencing intimacy IRL (and not just in my imagination), I quickly came to realise that porn is a vehicle for inspiration and entertainment. It\u2019s not always a depiction of realistic physical intimacy, but something that can help us to feel more comfortable and confident to talk about what we like. But this is not everyone\u2019s experience with porn. Despite the rise of sex positive content and conversations, there\u2019s still an immense amount of shame surrounding our sexual desires \u2014 especially as women. Having sexual desires, being in control of those desires and embracing them by being avid-porn watchers is something that is still not really accepted in mainstream society. I still lower my voice when I talk about my favourite porn scenes or stars in cafes or bars. I sometimes delete my search browser history out of habit.\u00a0 I think this is because of the clich\u00e9 myths that linger around the porn industry. The underlying shame that surrounds sex undeniably impacts the billion-dollar industry that thrives off mainstream desire. But I think it\u2019s time we debunked some of those. And so does one of my favourite porn stars, Angela White. Angela White has been one of the most popular, successful and famous porn stars of the last 20 years. Australian-born, with a first-class honours degree in gender studies, she goes by her real name and is known on and off-screen for her authenticity and sex positivity. She was the first ever female performer to win the AVN\u2019s Female Performer of the Year three consecutive times, and she now has an iconic 69 AVN awards in total.\u00a0 Below are eight clich\u00e9 myths about porn, debunked with help from Angela herself.\u00a0 In Angela\u2019s world, this is a complete myth. \u201cIt\u2019s just completely untrue!\u201d she says. \u201cThe whole reason I got into the industry was to have fun; to express and explore my sexuality on my own terms\u2026\u201d Having always lived by her \u2018fuck yeah!\u2019 principle \u2014 \u201cif it\u2019s not a \u2018fuck yeah!\u2019 it\u2019s a hard no\u201d \u2014 Angela only accepts jobs that feel good to her.\u00a0 \u201cI only accept jobs I think are going to be fun! I accept jobs with talent I love shooting with, with scripts that I think will be an exciting day on set and companies I enjoy creating content for.\u201d Basically, she\u2019s having a lot of fucking fun. Literally. Now, while Angela doesn\u2019t deny that there are some fake orgasms in porn, not all of them are. Especially not in her experience, as someone who prefers to have \u201cas many real orgasms\u201d as she can.\u00a0 What it really comes down to, is the type of porn.\u00a0 \u201cIf I\u2019m shooting intimate, a gonzo-style or all-sex pornography scene \u2014 where we\u2019re are allowed to fuck how we would if the cameras weren\u2019t there \u2014 that\u2019s more conducive to a real orgasm,\u201d she said. \u201cBut, if I\u2019m shooting for a company who want to heavily direct the scene \u2014 they might be telling us which positions to get into and when, and they might even request that we give an orgasm in every position \u2014 that\u2019s not necessarily conducive to real orgasms, because not every woman cums from every position.\u201d \u201cFor me personally, positions like cowgirl \u2014 where I can control the depth and speed, and am able to grind my clit on my partner; then I can have a real orgasm. Missionary is another position that\u2019s easier for me to cum in.\u201d Other positions are harder for her body to cum in, so \u2014 she might have to \u201cfake\u201d it.\u00a0 But, do fake orgasms in porn send the wrong message? It\u2019s a pretty hot topic of debate within feminist conversations, that showcasing women to easily have fake \u2014 and loud! \u2014 orgasms breeds an unrealistic expectation in the bedroom.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think there\u2019s anything wrong with talent faking orgasms in porn,\u201d Angela says. \u201cPersonally I prefer not to fake an orgasm, but in the end; it\u2019s a fantasy product. Part of that fantasy \u2014 at least in heterosexual porn \u2014 is that making women cum is easy.\u00a0 \u201cA lot of hetero porn that is marketed towards men is trying to address the anxiety that men have around making women cum. Because the reality is, most men want to make a woman come! They really do!\u00a0 \u201cSometimes, it takes time and effort to be able to make a woman cum in real life and it can be daunting. So, to be able to watch a product where it appears that it\u2019s easy for a woman to cum; that\u2019s relaxing for a man.\u201d Perhaps even confidence-building, I muse. But then, what if they take it at face value and start to believe that it can be that easy IRL? Angela would like to think that men are \u201cintelligent enough\u201d to know they\u2019re watching a fantasy product. \u201cSurely they know, right?\u201d She laughs. \u201cIf they\u2019re acting like they don\u2019t, I think they\u2019re being lazy and irresponsible.\u201d \u201cAnd, if they really aren\u2019t aware of the difference between a pornography scene and their IRL sex life, we\u2019re in a sex education and porn literacy crisis.\u201d Personally, I think we might be. I mean, it\u2019s pretty well-established that we (still) don\u2019t have the most extensive sex education in schools or in many mainstream stories we consume about sex, relationships and desire.\u00a0 But we\u2019re evolving into a space of greater sex positivity, especially within women. The rise of talking about sex openly online and within our friend groups has become noticeable, and distinctly less uncomfortable.\u00a0 \u201cUltimately I would love to get to a place where everyone feels confident enough to tell their partner what they want and need to feel pleasure,\u201d Angela says.\u00a0 Me too, girl. And fake orgasms in produced pornography scenes realistically shouldn\u2019t impact that.\u00a0 \u201cA lot of hetero porn does end with a male cumshot,\u201d Angela agrees. \u201cBut not all of it.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve done many scenes where after the cumshot, the male talent has gone down on me and made me cum again. Or, some guys who are able to stay hard and continue fucking me after they cum will do that. There are definitely exceptions to that rule.\u201d Another one is\u00a0lesbian porn.\u00a0 \u201cLesbian scenes sometimes just go on and on and on\u2026\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s great!\u201d And, while in heterosexual porn \u2014 or any that involve a penis \u2014 anatomy is guiding the journey before and after penis ejaculation, Angela acknowledges that there\u2019s a less-than-helpful obsession with climax. \u201cI think that sometimes our obsession with climax can create more anxiety in the bedroom, instead of just pleasure. It\u2019s about the journey, not the destination,\u201d she says.\u00a0 \u201cThere is an orgasm gap and that is important to acknowledge, but I also think let\u2019s not forget how much pleasure we can get leading up to the moment of orgasm.\u201d No matter your gender. \u201cThis is absolutely false. Women have just been overlooked,\u201d Angela says. Not only has she seen a huge increase in her female subscribers \u2014 they\u2019re also her biggest tippers.\u00a0 \u201cThe problem has been the sexual shame cast upon women who watch pornography, or even for just having sexual desires,\u201d she says. \u201cIt hasn\u2019t been openly acceptable for women to have the same level of sexual desire as men, which means they\u2019re hasn\u2019t been enough focus on the female market.\u201d But the proof is in the (sexy) pudding. When women see a product they value, they\u2019re willing to pay for it. And, according to Angela, they\u2019re a rapidly growing part of her market. \u201cI create OnlyFans content geared towards my female fans. Things like regular masturbation scenes, but referencing the clit rather than the penis.\u201d\u00a0 An interactive experience especially for women. That sounds like a place I\u2019d like to be. (Note to self: look into later.)\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s definitely fun!\u201d Angela laughs. \u201cBut it\u2019s not necessarily easy.\u201d It\u2019s not like having sex at home, she explains. It\u2019s much more active, like a full cardio workout. Plus, you don\u2019t have the same creature comforts \u2014 like a bed. \u201cOften, we\u2019re shooting on counter tops in the kitchen or on dining room tables. I\u2019ve shot on a rock, outside, in the middle of summer. When we\u2019re shooting in The Valley [in LA], we have to turn the air conditioning off to shoot and sometimes it is 40 degrees. I get super red and sweaty. It\u2019s a lot!\u201d Then there\u2019s the preparation that goes into to having sex on camera. \u201cWe have to look on point. We have to keep up our physical fitness. We need to prepare for scenes like anal \u2014 you wouldn\u2019t have to prepare to the same extent if you were doing it at home.\u201d\u00a0 The preferred positions in porn are more about aesthetics than comfort. Something like reverse cowgirl, for example, is something Angela would never choose to do in her personal life \u2014 but looks great on camera. \u201cThe woman is on top, so you\u2019ve got a full view of her body, boobs bouncing etc, and a straight up shot of the penetration. But it\u2019s hard work \u2014 you\u2019re squatting on the dick so it\u2019s tough on the legs. And it lacks intimacy \u2014 which is my favourite part about shooting porn; connecting with my on-screen partner.\u201d Then, of course, there\u2019s the long days. While a quick gonzo scene might have you in and out within five hours, a feature film can see you on set for 12 or more. \u201cI was on set for 23 hours once,\u201d she recalls.\u00a0 On longer shoot days and if the production is bigger and more glamorous, there can be lots of stopping and starting in between positions. They might change the lighting, the angles, the backdrops, hair and make-up etc.\u00a0 \u201cYour body can be pretty sore by the end of the day,\u201d Angela says.\u00a0 \u201cLike, your butthole is a muscle! You\u2019re stretching it out and warming it up, so if you\u2019re stopping and starting, it\u2019s a lot harder on the body.\u201d And while she has techniques for that \u2014 getting the talent to continue slowly fucking her throughout or having a toy on stand-by \u2014 the body can still be pretty tired and sore at the end of the day, she says. \u201cI think it depends on the couple,\u201d Angela says. \u201cFor some couples, porn can be a great aid in spicing things up in the bedroom. You can get ideas for sexual fantasies, role play and positions. But I think this works best for couples who have good communication skills.\u201d Angela also says that it\u2019s important to be aware of your different tastes. If a couple has different tastes in porn that\u2019s okay, but finding something that works for both parties is something you can come together on and enjoy as a couple. Like anything in a relationship or connection, it\u2019s integral that everyone involved feels heard and seen and in this case \u2014 turned on. \u201cBut if there are problems with insecurities in the relationship, it might not always be the best path to explore.\u201d\u00a0 Plus, the stigma of porn as a vehicle for cheating doesn\u2019t help. Many people in monogamous relationships feel that if their partner watches porn without them, or feels the \u2018need\u2019 to watch it outside the bedroom \u2014 that it\u2019s a form of cheating.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m in no position to say that it\u2019s not,\u201d says Angela. \u201cYou create your own boundaries as to what you accept in a relationship \u2014 what you find appropriate. It\u2019s a conversation you need to have with your partner.\u201d If you believe this myth, Angela reckons it has something to do with your search terms. \u201cYes, some porn is male centric \u2014 but there is a lot of porn that is female centric too. Search for \u201ccunnilingus\u201d! Figure out what you like, and search for that. You\u2019ve got to search for the porn you want to see.\u201d If you\u2019re looking for something slow and romantic, it exists. If you just want to watch pussy eating, that exists. Femmedom? It exists, she says. \u201cThere\u2019s plenty of content made specifically for women and centres around female pleasure.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s really about honing in on your search terms. Don\u2019t just go onto PornHub and click on the first thing you see.\u201d \u201cWe still live in a world where people can\u2019t imagine that a woman would want to do a job that involves sex. There\u2019s a lingering stigma around working in the sex industry as a woman, that it\u2019s not a choice.\u201d But that isn\u2019t the truth, especially not in Angela\u2019s case. \u201cIt speaks to the gendered slut-shaming that still exists, that women can\u2019t enjoy sex enough to do it as a job,\u201d she says. \u201cYou don\u2019t see male porn stars like Johnny Sins looked down upon or shamed for their work. There\u2019s a real gender divide on this. If a man gets into porn, he\u2019s seen as a hero, while a woman is looked upon with pity.\u201d\u00a0 And it\u2019s about time we changed that perception.\u00a0 <\/p>\n
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